Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
