Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
