It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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