if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dick very happy bro
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
