you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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