so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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