Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
