I smell stomach acid.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
