I faked an abortion last night.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
