don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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