This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
