Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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