while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
