tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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