She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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