I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
