its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
