i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
