Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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