why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize