This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
