D3 body, D1 cock
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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