Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
