It's like God shit irony all over that family
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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