i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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