your parents love me but you hate me
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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