Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
