just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
