if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
