did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
