how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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