There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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