I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
