so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
