I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
No subtext here. People are naked.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
