Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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