I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
