I cockslap morals
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
