When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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