I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
