Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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