i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
