i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
