I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize