dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
