i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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