if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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