i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
