dude i'm inner monologue high
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
