Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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