He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Ladies don't puke and tell
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
