True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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