Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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