I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
