the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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