I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
