i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
