Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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